November 27, 2005
1,000 words
Written for slash_100 prompts "Winter", "Spring", "Fall" and "Summer".
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La Pitié 2
Prompt: "spring"
"Xander." Giles looks away, not daring to meet Xander's eyes.
"I'm here. The nurse said—"
Giles nods. "I know." He still doesn't look into Xander's eyes, and knows that it makes the young man uncomfortable, but Giles knows that he'd give too much away if he looked up. He's scared.
"What's wrong Giles? You won't look at me." Xander's worried, Giles can tell that much, and he knows he has a reason to. Giles is dying.
With a deep breath, Giles gathers the last of his courage and looks up into Xander's eyes and a tear finds its across his cheek. "I won't see the spring, Xander."
Xander sniffs and looks away, hiding his own tears, Giles knows; he knows Xander so well now. What he knows most of all is that Xander will not accept the truth until he's truly well and gone already, he'll deny it all he can, putting his heart into trying to fix this thing, but he can't.
And Giles also knows that he's the picture perfect of the pitiful sick; lying on the hospital bed, hooked on machines that say nothing of what is truly killing him. Not a monster, not magic—
Cancer.
La Peur3
Prompt: "fall"
The leaves on the ground remind him too much of death, and Giles has to
look away from the colours that illuminate the landscape surrounding him.
He's been feeling it for weeks now, this pain in his head that never seems
to let him get the rest that he knows he needs.
But he tells himself it's nothing, simply another migraine, which he's been prone to for all his life. He simply breathes in the air filled with all the beautiful scents of the fall and thinks of Xander instead.
Xander who, for the last year and a half has filled his heart with something that he thought he'd lost forever after Ethan disappeared and Jenny died. He knows that being together isn't the easiest thing they've ever done, but it's so fulfilling and—yes, as cheesy as it sounds, it's beautiful, and Giles cannot imagine his life without Xander in it anymore.
They've all gone separate ways now, living their own lives, feeling as if they've accomplished all that they had to and can now simply—live, he thinks is the only word that comes close to the feeling of freedom that they've all been feeling since they've left California. They all keep working, fighting in the same vein as they've done together for seven years, but they've lost the urgency and feeling of doom that seemed to colour their lives for so long.
And Giles is grateful every day that Xander decided to stay here, with him, building a home where neither of them had to be alone, where they found each other and figured that life had to be lived one way or the other, and there was no better time than now.
Giles simply hopes that now will last longer than what he fears it will.
Le Courage4
Prompt: "summer"
"It's almost summer." And Xander smiles because he loves summer,
and he can only imagine that summer in England is the season that comes
closest to what he was used to in California. He's only been in the country
for a few weeks, and he already knows he's going to stay for a while. Not
that he doesn't miss home, but he figures he can probably find a home here
as well.
And looking at Giles, he wonders if he hasn't already, but he dismisses the thought almost immediately; it is, after all, ridiculous, because he's not—you know—that way.
He can see Giles smiling back at him now and feels his heartbeat quicken and he almost blushes—almost.
"Yes, indeed." And it looks like Giles is humouring him, laughing with his eyes, and Xander wonders again how he could have missed, during all those years, how beautiful Giles' face becomes when his eyes are laughing. Maybe it's because he didn't have much reason to truly laugh back in Sunnydale. "Summer here is quite lovely, you'll see."
"Will you take me to the country side? Willow keeps telling me how beautiful it is in the summer, and I'd like to see it for myself."
Giles' hand is on Xander's shoulder now, and Xander can feel his body responding slightly to the foreign touch that isn't so foreign anymore, because there has been a lot of touching since—
"Of course, although I never pictured you for the sightseeing type." The smile reaches Giles' lips now and Xander has to try really hard to stop himself from staring, and if he bent just slightly—not going there.
"Xander?"
It takes a moment for Xander to realize that he was, indeed, staring and that Giles caught him doing it. He knew today wasn't going to go in his favour ever since he woke up, the feeling of dread hanging over his head. And now Giles' going to ask him why, how, tell him to go away—Screw it, it's not like he has anything to lose, except you know everything.
And he bends his head, just slightly, feeling his heart beat wildly in his chest; is ears are buzzing and he swears the hardest thing he's ever done in his life is not running away at that very moment. Caleb? Piece of cake compared to this. And then—
Giles meets him halfway.