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Banner created by KateKat. Fable Just--no way. This was not happening to him. Not now. Sure, Larry in high school had said--but that didn't mean anything. Xander was straight, very, very straight. He had the porn to prove it. No doubt at all about his straightness. Nope. He'd checked out some other guys before, but that was what men did, wasn't it? Checking out the competition? So what if he'd noticed the way their pants clung to their ass, or their shirt to their chest? That was normal too, you couldn't not notice. And if looking at their perfectly-shaped ass made the general area of his groin tingle-not harden, because he was definitely not getting a hard-on from looking at some random guy's ass, no sirree-well, that was also a completely normal and healthy reaction. It was when he started noticing that he spent a lot more time looking at the competition than he did girls that Xander realized he might have a problem. A big one. A big hunky dunky of a problem, but he wasn't going to think about it. So it didn't matter, because Xander was never thinking about that thing that might have been a problem if he had been thinking about it. And he was not gay. Never was, never would be-- And who the hell did he think he was kidding? Because right now, sitting at the far back of his 'Intro to British Lit' class--damn Willow for thinking this would be an easy class for him--Xander felt very, very gay. The tightening in his groin was definitely of the hardening variety, and the longer Mr. Giles, the professor was talking--holy damn, that accent--the more Xander kept zoning out, his brain giving him about thirty very different clues-let's call them positions-which proved over and over again, that Xander was, indeed, maybe, a little gay. Or a lot. And apparently, he'd thought about this before, because there was no way it would all be that detailed if he hadn't. That's when--in the middle of Giles' introductory speech--Xander remembered the dream he'd had, that night after Larry had cornered him in the locker room and asked him out on a date. That simple question had Xander totally and completely freaking out. This was Larry the football player, and Larry wasn't-except that apparently he was. And not only gay, but also gorgeous with those blue eyes and broad shoulders. Xander had rushed home, skipping the last class of the day, and hid in his room for hours, not even coming out for supper. Thoughts of "I'm not-I'm so not-" ran around in his head all evening, and he'd finally fallen asleep exhausted. He couldn't really remember the dream itself, only that there had been no naked girls--no girls at all, actually--and Larry, on the other hand, had been very naked. And Xander had woken up drenched in sweat and with a hard-on the size of China. He'd spent the rest of the school year avoiding Larry like the plague, and raiding his father's porn collection, which had plenty of naked girls and boobies, thank you very much. And if Xander hadn't been able to look away from the naked guys who were pushing their hard cocks inside the naked girls--well, there hadn't been anyone there to call him on it--not that he had been doing that anyway. This past summer though, just before Xander had started college, it was like no girls could catch his interest. Anya had sure tried, and Xander gone out with her a few times, until it became clear that she didn't do anything for him. It was absolutely embarrassing that it only became really clear when she was naked and touching him--and she'd broken it off. Xander had spent the rest of the summer watching a group of guys play baseball every Saturday at the park and wishing he knew something about the game. And also denying to whoever was listening to his internal voice that looking at their bare chests was making him feel anything but jealousy that they had the kind of muscles girls seemed to like, and he didn't. Right now, though, the denial wasn't sticking. There was no way the thoughts he was having right now weren't putting him into the gay category. If he was honest, though-and what better moment to be honest than right now when his brain was already out the window thinking about very nice-looking British professors-well, girls and women had never been able to hold his interest for long. He'd never had a girlfriend until Anya, and even then, she had thrown herself at him, and where had that ended up? Nowhere good, that's where. So here he sat, with a hard-on, trying his best not to gape, because there were about thirty more students in the classroom, and they would notice if he did. Mr. Giles was handing out the course outline, and Xander started reading it, but everything was a blur. He was gay. He was attracted to men, and apparently, his new professor most of all. First class: already a life-shattering epiphany. Maybe he should have listened to his conscience when it told him not to apply for college. Feedback Back to Dreamland Back to Fly With Me |