March 12, 2007
1,361 words
Written for Fiercynn in femslash07. I hope you enjoy.
Thanks to Mireille for the quick beta. All remaining mistakes are mine.
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The house was quiet when Cameron came in. She wasn't going to come here tonight; work had gone on past midnight again, and she usually went home when that happened. Cuddy wasn't expecting her.
Cameron had a key, though, and when she'd finally climbed into her car and left the hospital, here was where she'd wanted to be.
She shrugged off her coat, hanging it next to Cuddy's, and took off her boots. She tiptoed her way to the bedroom, her sock-clad feet barely making a sound on the hardwood floors. Cameron loved this house. They had talked, once, about her moving in. Cuddy had been all for that idea, but Cameron...
Three years in, and she still didn't think it was going to last.
Cuddy was smart and gorgeous, and at some point she'd get tired of little old clumsy Cameron. House, as obnoxious as ever, kept teasing her about her insecurities, and it almost made her relent, just to prove to him that she could. But in the end, she'd still said no.
Cameron made up a story about needing her own space to escape to after particularly difficult cases. Cuddy hadn't argued, even though she must have known that Cameron had been lying. And here she was, in direct contradiction to all that she'd said then, walking into Cuddy's bedroom after a hard day, because what she needed wasn't space at all, and tonight she was too tired and fragile to ignore the pull that made her need Cuddy's touch above everything else.
Cameron sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching down to take off her socks. She pulled her sweater up over her head, and started unbuttoning her blouse, sighing. There was a groan behind her, and the bed shifted. A warm hand slipped under the hem of her shirt and settled on her lower back.
"Hey," Cuddy said, her voice still hoarse with sleep. "Are you okay?"
Cameron shook her head. She wanted to say she was sorry for waking her up, wanted to apologize for being there when she'd said she wouldn't be, but she didn't. She let out a shaky breath and let her hands fall into her lap, shirt only halfway opened. "No," she answered, blinking rapidly to keep from crying. "We lost her."
That was something Cameron really liked about being in a relationship with a co-worker. She didn't need to explain to Cuddy what it was about; she knew.
Cuddy sat up and leaned against Cameron's back, wrapping both her arms around her waist. "House can't always be right."
Cameron snickered and sighed. "That's the thing, he was right. There just wasn't anything we could do." Except to watch Valerie die.
"I'm sorry, baby," Cuddy whispered, tightening her arms.
Cameron leaned back and turned her head to the side, closing her eyes when Cuddy kissed her. "I liked her."
"I know."
That was her problem, wasn't it? She got attached to her patients too easily, and it made it harder when there was nothing she could do for them. "I'm sorry I woke you up." It sounded even more pathetic out loud than it did in her head.
"No worries," Cuddy said softly, cupping Cameron's cheek and looking into her eyes. "I wasn't sleeping soundly. I've been waiting for House's phone call."
Cameron leaned into the touch, and nodded. "He won't call tonight."
"No," Cuddy laughed, shaking her head. "I don't know why I expected him to. Although--if he'd been successful--"
"He would have called to gloat... as always."
"Exactly." Cuddy sobered up quickly and leaned over, kissing Cameron's lips.
Cameron returned the kiss, her lips moving slowly against Cuddy's. With a soft sigh, she wrapped her arms around Cuddy's shoulders, Cameron's fingers splayed on the warm skin of her back, and pulled her closer. "Naked? What a naughty girl you are," she whispered, trailing kisses down Cuddy's jaw.
Cuddy grinned and gave a short gasp. "Always, baby."
Cameron drew back a little, and pulled the sheet down, revealing Cuddy's breasts. "I think I like that." She put a hand on Cuddy's hip, lowering her mouth to kiss down Cuddy's neck to her shoulder.
"I know you do." Cuddy's voice had a little moan to it, and it made Cameron smile. She loved to hear Cuddy moan. "Maybe you should be a little more naked yourself," Cuddy said, breath hitching when Cameron's mouth came close to her breast. She moved her fingers over Cameron's back, making her shiver, over her shoulder, and down to her chest, and continued what Cameron had started, unbuttoning her blouse slowly.
Cameron let go of Cuddy's breast and shrugged off her top, standing up to take care of her belt and pants, all the time aware of Cuddy's eyes on her. She turned around to unhook her bra and let it fall down before stepping out of her panties. Cameron heard Cuddy stand up from the bed, her arms sneaking around Cameron's torso as she leaned against her back, mouth on her neck. "Please," Cameron murmured, linking her hands with Cuddy's and moving them up over her belly to her breasts. "Touch me."
Cuddy obliged, cupping her and squeezing softly, kissing the skin under her lips and then biting down. "Come on, let me take care of you."
Cameron let herself be dragged down onto the bed, and bit her lip to keep from replying that she didn't need a caretaker, because right now, she wanted this; she wanted to be taken care of.
Cuddy was good at that; it was one of the things Cameron loved about her.
Love. That was the whole point, wasn't it?
Cameron loved Cuddy. She loved her probably more than she had ever loved anyone in her life, and it scared her.
Cameron had sat with their patient, Valerie, tonight, had held her hand for over an hour after the final diagnosis had been made. Valerie had been quiet. Cameron hadn't been able to understand how serene she looked then. She was just nineteen, after all; she should still have all her life to live. She shouldn't have been waiting for her death. Sometimes you have to face your fears, it's the only way to let go, Valerie had said, just an hour before she'd died. That was pretty much all Valerie had said, that and Be honest with yourself.
Cameron didn't think Valerie's words were that powerful; she'd heard better speeches from dying patients. But right now, in this bed, with Cuddy's fingers playing on her skin and Cuddy's mouth moving down between her legs, they seemed oddly relevant.
Cameron had to be honest with herself: it was her commitment issues that were keeping her from moving forward. She was too scared of what could happen if, and she was letting that affect everything else that she did, every decision she made. Her relationship with Cuddy took the brunt of it, and it was time to change that, face that fear and then let it go.
They lay tangled afterwards, Cuddy spooned against Cameron's back, holding her close and kissing her shoulder. Both of them were still panting, sweating lightly. "You know that offer about moving in?" She turned around in Cuddy's arms and looked her in the eyes. "Is it still good?"
Cuddy frowned. "Of course it is." Then she added, "Are you serious?"
Cameron smiled, if a bit tentatively, and cupped Cuddy's cheek. "Yes, I am. I want to move in with you."
"But what about--"
Cameron shook her head, putting a finger over Cuddy's lips to stop her. "Don't worry about everything else, I just... I want to do this." Before Cuddy could put in another word, she continued: "Tomorrow, before I change my mind again and decide it's a bad idea." She smiled more broadly. "I don't want to let my issues dictate where I go or what I do anymore. I love you, and here is where I want to be."
It wasn't before Cuddy pulled her closer, pressing their mouths together firmly and coaxing her lips open for a deep kiss, that Cameron realized she really meant it.