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Banner created by KateKat. Dreamland Giles looked at Xander as if he'd somehow gone back to being three again and needed to have everything explained twice. "We've been wondering if you'd like to join us, Xander." "I need to sit down." Xander grabbed the edge of the table as Wesley hurried to help him into a chair. Wesley walked back to Giles' side, his hand on Giles' upper arm. "Rup-that is, we've thought about this for quite a long time now, and as we've noticed you've seemed more-how should I put it-more interested in the past few months, we've thought it best to approach you with the idea." Giles crouched down by Xander's side, his left hand cupping Xander's jaw and lifting his face until their eyes met. "I've-I've wanted you for years, Xander. And while I'd understand if you feel uncomfortable now, I'd ask you to please consider this. Take as long as you'd like, hours, days or weeks." Xander swallowed audibly and looked up from Giles' eyes to Wesley's. "I'm not-I don't-What I want to say is, you've taken me by surprise, I haven't thought-not now. I-I have to go." He leapt to his feet, his jaw suddenly cold where Giles had held him just a moment before. He looked at them both, looking at him with just a hint of disappointment in their eyes, but then he looked away, grabbed his coat and left. It wasn't like he'd never thought about it, but nighttime fantasies do not a reality make. Ever since Giles and Wesley had come out as a couple, Xander had been thinking about it more and more. It'd been two years now, and the dreams hadn't stopped. He'd wake up in the morning almost feeling the touch of Giles' hands on his skin, the way Wesley's lips felt against his, and he'd crave more, crave what they'd been offering tonight. That was one of the reasons he hadn't been able to keep a boyfriend: they never lived up to his dreams. There'd been this one guy once, a blond with a sexy attitude, but Xander had finally figured out he'd only really been attracted to William's accent. Besides, it had been all wrong: not enough hands touching him, not enough limbs in bed with him. When Xander had been a freshman with a crush on his Survey of British Literature professor, he hadn't thought anything would come out of it. He'd never really accepted his sexuality until he'd met Giles and realized that damn, was he attracted to him, but it was just a crush. A silly teenage crush on his older-really sexy-professor. And then there'd been Wesley. Giles' TA, then Giles' lover, and for some reason, they'd all ended up being friends. Even when Xander had finally decided to drop out of college, he hadn't stopped talking to them. And when Wesley finished his MA and opened his bookshop, he'd provided Xander with his first real job as he'd built the shelves and counters, doing such a good job of it that he was now highly sought as a carpenter and making enough money to live comfortably. Xander rubbed at his jaw, trying to relive the feeling of having Giles touching him, wondering what Wesley's hands felt like. With a sigh, he turned around and walked back the way he'd come, not caring that he was probably making the worst mistake of his life. You didn't just come between two people as devoted to each other as Giles and Wesley were. It just couldn't end well. But they'd offered, and he wanted-God, he wanted this so much, wanted to know, wanted to be free of it. The way he figured, if he played out his long time fantasy, maybe he could get it out of his system and move on with his life. He thought about knocking, but then he just opened the door wide and stepped inside. Giles and Wesley were on the couch, with their backs to him, Wesley lying with his head in Giles' lap. "Please, do close the door, it's quite chilly out," Giles said, matter-of-factly, as if he'd known Xander would be coming back. He didn't even look up from the book he'd been reading, the hand that wasn't holding the book painting circles on Wesley's forearm. Xander froze, realizing suddenly that he had no idea what to say, what to do. He heard Wesley chuckling almost silently, and he shook his head. Pushing the door closed, he made sure it was locked before walking to the living room and sitting in the chair facing the couch. "I'm insane. That's the only reason I can come up with for coming back." Giles frowned, putting his book down as Wesley sat up, and taking his glasses off, carefully folding them and placing them on the end table. "You are far from insane." Giles reached out and took Xander's hand in his own. "Quite the opposite in fact," he murmured, looking back at Wesley and smiling. Smiling that secret smile that Xander had always been a bit jealous of-okay, more than a bit. Wesley gave a smile back and stood up. "I'll be upstairs," he said, squeezing Giles' shoulder, sparing a quick reassuring smile to Xander and quickly climbing up. Xander looked at Wesley's retreating back, wondering why he'd left, but not daring to ask. He felt Giles squeeze his hand, and looked back to him. "Being here is a really bad idea, I know it, but-" He shook his head, rubbing his face with his free hand. "Shit, I've been dreaming about this for years now, and you just-you offered." He said the last almost accusingly, as if should something happen, Giles would be the one to blame for offering and not Xander for accepting, because, really, you don't offer something like this to someone who's wanted it for so long-and Giles must have known that, because how could he not-without thinking about the consequences. Giles smiled. "I-that is, we are not offering this lightly, Xander. We've been-as Wesley said, we've been thinking about it for a long time, almost ever since we were first together. And to be quite clear, we're not offering this as a 'one-night-only' deal. We want more of you, more from you." His free hand reached up to brush against Xander's cheek. "We're both aware that a relationship with you will be hard work, and not only because you are so much younger than we both are, but also because we want there to be no misinterpretation of what this is." Xander looked into Giles' eyes. He'd really thought this was all about sex, because what else could he get from this? Giles and Wesley were--they were together and in love and it was so obvious to everyone around them that Xander hadn't even dreamed that they could-have feelings for him. He'd thought about the sex, frequently. Dreamed about it almost every night for years, but this was new, and his heart thudded in his chest, hard and almost painful, because Giles couldn't mean what he meant. "I-what is this, exactly?" Giles smiled, his fingers tickling the palm of Xander's hand, and he leaned down, his lips brushing against Xander's in a whisper of a kiss. "We want you in our life, Xander. Not only in our bed-although that will be delightful in and of itself-but also in our life, in our home, and most importantly, in our hearts." "This is insane," Xander said without a thought, looking away from the depth of feelings he was reading in Giles' eyes. He'd never been one to actually see these things, but Giles' eyes were so expressive just now that Xander couldn't not see. "Giles, what you're asking, it's-I don't know if-" What could they possibly see in him? He wasn't anything special, he was twenty-three years younger than Giles, and eleven years separated him from Wesley too. It wasn't like they had all that much in common, either, except that Xander had always felt-something, and they never did run out of things to talk about. And Giles was fascinating when he talked about books and mythology and he always made Xander more curious about things, made him want to learn, to research things and try to challenge Giles at his own game. Giles always won, of course, but it didn't matter. And Wesley-God, Wesley was gorgeous, and smart and he loved books just as much as Xander loved carpentry, and sometimes, Xander felt as if Wesley was the only one who truly understood that part of him, the part that wanted-no, needed to create, to touch the wood and let it dictate what it should become. Giles squeezed his hand again, bringing Xander back into the present. "We know we can't ask all of this from you now; we're not idiots. But we're not fools either, and we've noticed, Xander, we've noticed the longing and the way you look at us. We're not fools," he repeated, his words making Xander blush. "I'm sor-" "Don't say that, please. You have nothing to apologize for, and I thought I'd made it clear that we are not at all offended by it. Quite the opposite in fact." He pulled Xander to the couch, making him sit so their legs were touching. "We've been developing feelings for you that go beyond friendship, and we'd like to explore them, if you'd like. We won't coerce you into anything, nor is it our intention to scare you away." Xander had to laugh at that. "You almost did." Giles kissed him again, another quick, chaste kiss that did nothing but made Xander want more. "Then we'll have to work on it never happening again." He stood and helped Xander to his feet. "I believe Wesley is waiting for us upstairs. Shall we join him, then?" Xander looked down at their entwined hands, remembering the many times he'd seen Giles holding Wesley's hand exactly like this and wondering for a moment if what Giles was offering was truly possible. It still sounded insane, but he wanted to believe. "Yeah, we shouldn't keep him waiting too long." Feedback Back to Dreamland Back to Fly With Me |