Title: One Week (until the end of the world)
Author: soft_princess
Website: Fly With Me
Date: October 26, 2007
Word count: 800

Pairing: Giles/Xander
Rating: FRT
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Joss does.
Spoilers: Post-Chosen
Summary: Not knowing what he was doing was sort of his signature style lately.

Note: written for the Giles/Xander Fest's Dabble-a-Day prompts @ gilesxander. Prompt #20: "Laughter is the closest distance between two people."

Xander wasn't sure what he was doing when he picked up the phone and dialed Giles' number. That didn't seem to stop him. Not knowing what he was doing was sort of his signature style lately.

There was a click on the other end of the phone line, and a tired voice answered: "Hello?"

"Oh, God, it's the middle of the night there, isn't it?" Xander winced. He should have checked the clock before he called, but he hadn't been thinking. Again. Still. Whatever.

"Xander? Is that you? Is everything all right?" Worried, Giles sounded worried.

And Xander started to laugh. This was ridiculous. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Is it Buffy? Dawn? Is Willow all right?"

Xander had to talk, say something, but he couldn't stop laughing, not even long enough to breathe. "We're fine," he managed to say between gulps of air. "Dawn, and Willow, and Buffy, all fine."

"You don't sound all right," Giles said, doubtful.

"I just--" Xander started. He tried really hard to stop laughing, because this was making it really hard to talk, but it wasn't working. "Giles, I-- I know I said, and I did-- things, and-- God, I can't even think a whole sentence."

"Breathe, Xander."

Shaking his head and trying not to laugh harder when he realized how much he'd missed that soothing and careful tone of voice, Xander tried to breathe. Slowly, he sat down on his bed, and grabbed a pillow, clutching it with his fingers. He took one deep breath and held it in until he felt his heart calm down, and he exhaled. "You know, I'm going to be making the biggest mistake of my life in just about a week."

"Don't speak like that," Giles chastised him.

"You know it's true. You know it, and that's why you had that look on your face when we told you guys at Halloween." Xander hadn't been able to get that look out of his head ever since, trying to figure out what it meant. "That's why you're not coming to the wedding."

"Xander--" Giles started, but Xander interrupted him.

"No, no, let me talk," he said. "You know you're the only one I've been with that I could just-- be myself around? No expectations, no things I have to be doing right. I mean everything. I could screw up, and... it was okay. We-- we were good."

"Xander--"

"Stop, please, I know you don't--" he shook his head and sighed. "I know we said we'd never talk about this again, and that I said things that I-- God, Giles, I was young and stupid, and I had no idea what--" Xander's hands were shaking, and he stood up and started to pace the small distance between the window and the edge of the bed. "I shouldn't be marrying Anya, Giles, because-- because--" He wasn't in love with her. It hurt so much, and there was no way he was ever going to make this right. Anya was going to kill him. Eviscerate him, and turn him inside out and then cut him into tiny pieces and have them delivered to his friends one by one.

Giles sighed at the other end of the line, and then said: "Tell Anya. Call off the wedding before you hurt her more than you already will, Xander. It's not too late to do this right."

"Giles, I--"

"I know, Xander, I know," Giles whispered in that tone of voice Xander only ever heard in the bedroom. Soft and understanding and bringing up so many memories, Xander thought he was going to crack again. "Do this, put things right as much as you can, and there'll be a plane ticket waiting for you."

"To take me where?" Xander asked, although he already had a pretty good idea of where he wanted to go.

"Here," Giles said, simply.

Xander sat down again, and licked his lips. "Giles, I need to be able to say this."

"Yes, you do, but I don't think I'm the one you should be telling it to."

"I'm in love with you." Xander blurted it out it so fast, that the words jumbled up together on his tongue. He cringed, holding his breath.

A chuckle was not the answer he had expected, definitely not full blown laughter either. Xander would have been insulted if Giles hadn't sounded relieved when he said: "I know, Xander, and I with you."

"Giles--" God, Xander wanted to reach out and pull him close. Just to touch him. And then, maybe, kiss him too. "Okay."

"Give me a call tomorrow, all right?"

"Yeah, I'll call," Xander whispered. "Go back to bed."

"Gladly."

When Xander finally put the phone down, he thought, maybe, he could do this.